Jamali Maddix: Vape Lord

Tuesday 18th September 2018

Critically acclaimed comedian and host of Viceland’s Hate Thy Neighbour, Jamali Maddix is embarking on his first World Tour.
He’ll be bringing brutally honest and unflinching material on the state of society along with personal tales from his travels around the world of hate and moral confrontation.
As seen on Live at the Apollo (BBC2), The John Bishop Show (BBC1), 8 Out of 10 Cats (More4), Dara O'Brien's Go 8-Bit 8 (Dave).
‘Something to offend everyone’ ★★★★ Sunday Times
‘It’s a failing of the comedy industry that there aren’t more voices like Jamali Maddix on the circuit.’ ★★★★ Chortle
‘If you are easily offended stay away. If you think you’re not, prepare to be challenged.’ ★★★★★ Edinburgh Festivals Magazine













Ticket Purchase Terms and Conditions
Please note that all debit and credit card transactions are subject to a 50p booking fee per ticket. Accepted payment methods are Visa, Mastercard, Maestro. We do not accept American Express. Please note this is a booking fee and not a surcharge. There is no booking fee applicable for in person sales paid by cash. A maximum of 6 tickets can be purchased in one transaction online per event date. For more, please contact our box office.

Book Tickets Now

Red Raw

Wednesday 19th September 2018

This weekly showcase for beginners lets the newest comedians in the Northeast try out their material in front of a live audience for the first time. It features up to ten new acts and gives you the chance to see the stars of tomorrow today. Many established comedians also drop by from time to time to test out their latest gags.
Please note:
We can no longer take reservations for this show without a pre-payment.
You can still book and pay online OR you can purchase tickets on the door from 7pm.
We hold back 150 tickets for sale at the venue door on the door on the night – please note that due to massive demand, tickets sold on the door are limited to one per customer.
It’s advisable to be there for doors opening as this show regularly sells out!
Hot food available in the club from when doors open until 10mins before show start. Click here to download a menu
The Stand’s Bar and Kitchen is also open Monday - Friday 6pm - Late (show nights only) and Saturday - Sunday 12pm - Late.
Food service runs Mon-Fri 6pm – 9pm, Sat 12pm – 9pm, Sun – 12pm – 8pm (Sunday Lunch served until 4pm). Click here to download a menu
Tripadvisor Excellence Award Winner 2014-2017
#StandUpScran
With headliner Andy Fury and host Sean Turner









Ticket Purchase Terms and Conditions
Please note that all debit and credit card transactions are subject to a 50p booking fee per ticket. Accepted payment methods are Visa, Mastercard, Maestro. We do not accept American Express. Please note this is a booking fee and not a surcharge. There is no booking fee applicable for in person sales. A maximum of 6 tickets can be purchased in one transaction online per event date. For more, please contact our box office.





Book Tickets Now

The Suggestibles

Thursday 20th September 2018

You supply the Suggestions. They supply the laughs!
If you like Whose Line is it Anyway? you’ll LOVE the Suggestibles’ two-hour improv comedy joyride! Their show is a speeding rollercoaster of improv games, skits, sketches and songs – including ‘Aspects Of …’ their ingenious improvised musical in the second half. The team is boldly theatrical, wildly irreverent and utterly hilarious.
The whole night is based on audience suggestions, so come armed with ideas as their favourite suggestion of the night wins two free tickets to another Suggestibles show at the Stand. The Suggestibles play here the third Thursday of every month (December varies).
Off-the-cuff, off-the-wall and every show a one-off.
Find more on the Suggestibles at thesuggestibles.com and on Facebook and Twitter
‘One of the hottest comedy tickets in the North East’ Guardian
‘The best thing to happen to hilarity since the advent of the laugh’ NARC
‘There’s nothing more satisfying than comedy which makes you ache with laughter – and The Suggestibles provide exactly that. It seems there’s no end to their talents’ Journal
‘Undoubtedly one of the greatest acts in the region’ NUS Courier
‘Two hours of comedy gold’ Shields Gazette
‘Something of a phenomenon’ The Crack

NB Concession prices are also available to Actors Equity cardholders for Suggestibles’ shows.
Hot food available in the club from when doors open until 10mins before show start. Click here to download a menu
The Stand’s Bar and Kitchen is also open Monday - Friday 6pm - Late (show nights only) and Saturday - Sunday 12pm - Late.
Food service runs Mon-Fri 6pm – 9pm, Sat 12pm – 9pm, Sun – 12pm – 8pm (Sunday Lunch served until 4pm). Click here to download a menu
Tripadvisor Excellence Award Winner 2014-2017
#StandUpScran (Link https://twitter.com/standnewcastle)










Ticket Purchase Terms and Conditions
Please note that all debit and credit card transactions are subject to a 50p booking fee per ticket. Accepted payment methods are Visa, Mastercard, Maestro. We do not accept American Express. Please note this is a booking fee and not a surcharge. There is no booking fee applicable for in person sales. A maximum of 6 tickets can be purchased in one transaction online per event date. For more, please contact our box office.


Book Tickets Now

The Friday Show

Friday 21st September 2018

There’s no better way to end the working week than with The Friday Show. Our ace comperes, seasoned headliners and roster of up and coming home grown comedians combine in this two hour live show. There’s five acts on every bill including the very best comics from the UK and beyond.
Hot food available in the club from when doors open until 10mins before show start. Click here to download a menu
The Stand’s Bar and Kitchen is also open Monday - Friday 6pm - Late (show nights only) and Saturday - Sunday 12pm - Late.
Food service runs Mon-Fri 6pm – 9pm, Sat 12pm – 9pm, Sun – 12pm – 8pm (Sunday Lunch served until 4pm). Click here to download a menu
Tripadvisor Excellence Award Winner 2014-2017
#StandUpScran
With Paul Currie , Eddy Brimson , Sammy Dobson , Omar Abid and host JoJo Sutherland .
Club Details
Duration: 135minutes | Show ends: 10.45pm approx.| Age Guidance: 18+ | Bar: From when doors open and after the show | Food Service: Club menu 7pm-8.15pm



Ticket Purchase Terms and Conditions
Please note that all debit and credit card transactions are subject to a 50p booking fee per ticket. Accepted payment methods are Visa, Mastercard, Maestro. We do not accept American Express. Please note this is a booking fee and not a surcharge. There is no booking fee applicable for in person sales. A maximum of 6 tickets can be purchased in one transaction online per event date. For more, please contact our box office.


Book Tickets Now

The Saturday Show

Saturday 22nd September 2018

It’s the biggest show of the week. Relax as our resident comperes lead the way with The Saturday Show. Featuring five different acts on each bill there’s something for everyone to laugh at including the very best comics from the UK and beyond.
Hot food available in the club from when doors open until 10mins before show start. Click here to download a menu
The Stand’s Bar and Kitchen is also open Monday - Friday 6pm - Late (show nights only) and Saturday - Sunday 12pm - Late.
Food service runs Mon-Fri 6pm – 9pm, Sat 12pm – 9pm, Sun – 12pm – 8pm (Sunday Lunch served until 4pm). Click here to download a menu
Tripadvisor Excellence Award Winner 2014-2017
#StandUpScran
With Paul Currie , Eddy Brimson , Sammy Dobson , Omar Abid and host JoJo Sutherland .
Club Details
Duration: 135minutes | Show ends: 10.45pm approx.| Age Guidance: 18+ | Bar: From when doors open and after the show | Food Service: Club menu 7pm-8.15pm



Ticket Purchase Terms and Conditions
Please note that all debit and credit card transactions are subject to a 50p booking fee per ticket. Accepted payment methods are Visa, Mastercard, Maestro. We do not accept American Express. Please note this is a booking fee and not a surcharge. There is no booking fee applicable for in person sales. A maximum of 6 tickets can be purchased in one transaction online per event date. For more, please contact our box office.



Book Tickets Now

Lee Kyle's White Elephant Stall

Sunday 23rd September 2018

Lee Kyle , the regular host of our kids show, brings a family show where anything can happen.
I mean, within reason, he's not going to split an atom or anything.
The show will be different each month, sometimes it'll be a game show, sometimes a quiz, sometimes improv, sometimes a chat show. Sometimes there will be guests, sometimes there won't. Maybe it'll be a musical one month! Sometimes, Lee won't even be there and there'll be someone else doing the show instead - but they'll be awesome too!
No matter what, it's going to be brilliant man. Come along, don't be a square.
Best suited for 8-12's. Sorry, no under 5's and all young comedy fans must be accompanied by an adult.
Fancy a Sunday Roast? Why nor book a table in our Bistro upstairs for after the show? We also do Kids Sunday Lunches for only £5!
Hot food available in the club or why not treat yourself to some pre-show dining at The Stand Bistro open Mon/Tues from 5pm (show nights only), Wed-Sat from 11am and noon on Sundays.
Tripadvisor Excellence Award Winner 2014, 2015 and 2016
#StandUpScran
Looking for some more kids shows
14 Oct - Kids Comedy Club
20 Oct - Mr Fibbers -Out of Tune
21 Oct - Martin Mor-Funny Stuff For Happy People
28 Oct - Lee Kyle's White Elephant Stall
11 Nov - Kids Comedy Club
25 Nov - Lee Kyle's White Elephant Stall
9 Dec - Kids Comedy Club

Snow White 2- Appley Ever After
17 Dec 1pm
18 Dec 1pm
19 Dec 1pm
20 Dec 1pm
21 Dec 1pm
22 Dec 1pm & 4pm
23 Dec 1pm & 4pm
27 Dec 1pm
28 Dec 1pm
29 Dec 1pm
30 Dec 1pm














Ticket Purchase Terms and Conditions
Please note that all debit and credit card transactions are subject to a 50p booking fee per ticket. Accepted payment methods are Visa, Mastercard, Maestro. We do not accept American Express. Please note this is a booking fee and not a surcharge. There is no booking fee applicable for in person sales paid by cash. A maximum of 6 tickets can be purchased in one transaction online per event date. For more, please contact our box office.


Book Tickets Now

Dr Phil Hammond - Happy Birthday NHS?

Sunday 23rd September 2018

Lakin McCarthy presents
Dr Phil Hammond - 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY NHS?'
Nye Bevan's beautiful baby is 70 this year, but will she make a ton? A decade of austerity with a Brexit cherry on top has brought her to her knees. Dr Phil charts the course of the NHS from 1948 to as long as she lasts. Come cheer the heroes, boo the villains and look to the future of robot surgeons, Fitbit nurses and iPhone GPs. Batteries not included.
Dr Phil Hammond has worked in the NHS for 31 years and loves it so much he still does. He is also a broadcaster, journalist, author, campaigner and comic.
‘If Dr Phil were a medicine, you should swig him by the litre’ **** Times
‘One of the most entertainingly subversive people on the planet’ Guardian
Please note that all NHS workers are entitle to concession price.
















Ticket Purchase Terms and Conditions
Please note that all debit and credit card transactions are subject to a 50p booking fee per ticket. Accepted payment methods are Visa, Mastercard, Maestro. We do not accept American Express. Please note this is a booking fee and not a surcharge. There is no booking fee applicable for in person sales. A maximum of 6 tickets can be purchased in one transaction online per event date. For more, please contact our box office.

Book Tickets Now

Jen Brister - Meaningless

Monday 24th September 2018

Ever wanted to know the meaning of life? No, neither has Jen , she’s too busy trying to stop her twins from using her shoes as a toilet.
Still, we’re only on this planet for a finite time, wouldn’t it be good to find a bit of meaning in your otherwise pointless existence?
Join Jen as she clutches at all the straws trying to make sense of it all.
'Blisteringly funny' List
'Outrageously funny' Metro

Ends 10.10pm approx







Ticket Purchase Terms and Conditions
Please note that all debit and credit card transactions are subject to a 50p booking fee per ticket. Accepted payment methods are Visa, Mastercard, Maestro. We do not accept American Express. Please note this is a booking fee and not a surcharge. There is no booking fee applicable for in person sales paid by cash. A maximum of 6 tickets can be purchased in one transaction online per event date. For more, please contact our box office.

Book Tickets Now

THE FOOTBAAAALL SHOW

Tuesday 25th September 2018

Join Gavin Webster and Lee Kyle for the only topical north east football comedy show. Expect local lampooning of the regions clubs, great football nostalgia and anecdotes, a quiz where you can challenge the lads for money on their historical knowledge of Newcastle United, pies and bovril in the break, even a sing song at the end. With great guests including a couple of ex footballing legends. Howay the lads (and lasses)!
Hot food available in the club from when doors open until 10mins before show start. Click here to download a menu
The Stand’s Bar and Kitchen is also open Monday - Friday 6pm - Late (show nights only) and Saturday - Sunday 12pm - Late.
Food service runs Mon-Fri 6pm – 9pm, Sat 12pm – 9pm, Sun – 12pm – 8pm (Sunday Lunch served until 4pm). Click here to download a menu
Tripadvisor Excellence Award Winner 2014-2017
#StandUpScran











Ticket Purchase Terms and Conditions
Please note that all debit and credit card transactions are subject to a 50p booking fee per ticket. Accepted payment methods are Visa, Mastercard, Maestro. We do not accept American Express. Please note this is a booking fee and not a surcharge. There is no booking fee applicable for in person sales. A maximum of 6 tickets can be purchased in one transaction online per event date. For more, please contact our box office.


Book Tickets Now

Red Raw

Wednesday 26th September 2018

This weekly showcase for beginners lets the newest comedians in the Northeast try out their material in front of a live audience for the first time. It features up to ten new acts and gives you the chance to see the stars of tomorrow today. Many established comedians also drop by from time to time to test out their latest gags.
Please note:
We can no longer take reservations for this show without a pre-payment.
You can still book and pay online OR you can purchase tickets on the door from 7pm.
We hold back 150 tickets for sale at the venue door on the door on the night – please note that due to massive demand, tickets sold on the door are limited to one per customer.
It’s advisable to be there for doors opening as this show regularly sells out!
Hot food available in the club from when doors open until 10mins before show start. Click here to download a menu
The Stand’s Bar and Kitchen is also open Monday - Friday 6pm - Late (show nights only) and Saturday - Sunday 12pm - Late.
Food service runs Mon-Fri 6pm – 9pm, Sat 12pm – 9pm, Sun – 12pm – 8pm (Sunday Lunch served until 4pm). Click here to download a menu
Tripadvisor Excellence Award Winner 2014-2017
#StandUpScran
With headliner Ashley Storrie .







Ticket Purchase Terms and Conditions
Please note that all debit and credit card transactions are subject to a 50p booking fee per ticket. Accepted payment methods are Visa, Mastercard, Maestro. We do not accept American Express. Please note this is a booking fee and not a surcharge. There is no booking fee applicable for in person sales. A maximum of 6 tickets can be purchased in one transaction online per event date. For more, please contact our box office.




Book Tickets Now

The Thursday Show

Thursday 27th September 2018

Start the weekend early with this two hour live comedy show. It features the best comperes, established headliners and several up and coming acts from the local and national circuits. There’s also a slot for a newcomer on every bill. The line-up is also usually the same as our premium Saturday night show but at almost half the price.
Hot food available in the club from when doors open until 10mins before show start. Click here to download a menu
The Stand’s Bar and Kitchen is also open Monday - Friday 6pm - Late (show nights only) and Saturday - Sunday 12pm - Late.
Food service runs Mon-Fri 6pm – 9pm, Sat 12pm – 9pm, Sun – 12pm – 8pm (Sunday Lunch served until 4pm). Click here to download a menu
Tripadvisor Excellence Award Winner 2014-2017
#StandUpScran
With Craig Hill , Ashley Storrie , Hal Branson , Andy Clark and host Martin Mor .

Club Details
Duration: 135minutes | Show ends: 10.45pm approx.| Age Guidance: 18+ | Bar: From when doors open and after the show | Food Service: Club menu 7pm-8.15pm




Ticket Purchase Terms and Conditions
Please note that all debit and credit card transactions are subject to a 50p booking fee per ticket. Accepted payment methods are Visa, Mastercard, Maestro. We do not accept American Express. Please note this is a booking fee and not a surcharge. There is no booking fee applicable for in person sales. A maximum of 6 tickets can be purchased in one transaction online per event date. For more, please contact our box office.


Book Tickets Now

The Friday Show

Friday 28th September 2018

There’s no better way to end the working week than with The Friday Show. Our ace comperes, seasoned headliners and roster of up and coming home grown comedians combine in this two hour live show. There’s five acts on every bill including the very best comics from the UK and beyond.
Hot food available in the club from when doors open until 10mins before show start. Click here to download a menu
The Stand’s Bar and Kitchen is also open Monday - Friday 6pm - Late (show nights only) and Saturday - Sunday 12pm - Late.
Food service runs Mon-Fri 6pm – 9pm, Sat 12pm – 9pm, Sun – 12pm – 8pm (Sunday Lunch served until 4pm). Click here to download a menu
Tripadvisor Excellence Award Winner 2014-2017
#StandUpScran
With Craig Hill , Ashley Storrie , Hal Branson , Andy Clark and host Martin Mor .
Club Details
Duration: 135minutes | Show ends: 10.45pm approx.| Age Guidance: 18+ | Bar: From when doors open and after the show | Food Service: Club menu 7pm-8.15pm


Ticket Purchase Terms and Conditions
Please note that all debit and credit card transactions are subject to a 50p booking fee per ticket. Accepted payment methods are Visa, Mastercard, Maestro. We do not accept American Express. Please note this is a booking fee and not a surcharge. There is no booking fee applicable for in person sales. A maximum of 6 tickets can be purchased in one transaction online per event date. For more, please contact our box office.



Book Tickets Now

The Saturday Show

Saturday 29th September 2018

It’s the biggest show of the week. Relax as our resident comperes lead the way with The Saturday Show. Featuring five different acts on each bill there’s something for everyone to laugh at including the very best comics from the UK and beyond.
Hot food available in the club from when doors open until 10mins before show start. Click here to download a menu
The Stand’s Bar and Kitchen is also open Monday - Friday 6pm - Late (show nights only) and Saturday - Sunday 12pm - Late
Food service runs Mon-Fri 6pm – 9pm, Sat 12pm – 9pm, Sun – 12pm – 8pm (Sunday Lunch served until 4pm). Click here to download a menu
Tripadvisor Excellence Award Winner 2014-2017
#StandUpScran
With Craig Hill , Ashley Storrie , Hal Branson , Andy Clark and host Martin Mor .
Club Details
Duration: 135minutes | Show ends: 10.45pm approx.| Age Guidance: 18+ | Bar: From when doors open and after the show | Food Service: Club menu 7pm-8.15pm


Ticket Purchase Terms and Conditions
Please note that all debit and credit card transactions are subject to a 50p booking fee per ticket. Accepted payment methods are Visa, Mastercard, Maestro. We do not accept American Express. Please note this is a booking fee and not a surcharge. There is no booking fee applicable for in person sales. A maximum of 6 tickets can be purchased in one transaction online per event date. For more, please contact our box office.




Book Tickets Now

Nish Kumar: It’s In Your Nature to Destroy Yourselves

Sunday 30th September 2018

SORRY, SOLD OUT! If you would like to be added to a list for possible returns, please email admin@thestand.co.uk
Phil McIntyre Entertainments proudly presents
Double Edinburgh Comedy Award Nominee, Nish Kumar is taking his brand new show on a national tour of the UK. The title is a quote from Terminator 2. There will be jokes about politics, mankind’s capacity for self-destruction and if this will lead to the end of days. GOOD FUN STUFF. He's the host of the Mash Report, which you might have seen on BBC 2 or on a Facebook video posted by someone you went to school with but haven't really spoken to in a while.
As seen on Live at the Apollo (BBC2), Taskmaster (Dave), Live From the BBC (Netflix), QI (BBC2) Have I Got News For You (BBC1) and Joel & Nish Vs The World (Netflix/Comedy Central).
'One of the best young comedians we have' Times
'A masterclass by a no-frills stand-up at the height of his powers' Guardian
'Intelligent, inventive, thought-provoking and delivered with a passion, urgency and enthusiasm that makes an hour feel like a fantastic ten minutes' Time Out
Rose d’Or winner – Best Radio Comedy
'A very clever boy' Nish Kumar













Ticket Purchase Terms and Conditions
Please note that all debit and credit card transactions are subject to a 50p booking fee per ticket. Accepted payment methods are Visa, Mastercard, Maestro. We do not accept American Express. Please note this is a booking fee and not a surcharge. There is no booking fee applicable for in person sales. A maximum of 6 tickets can be purchased in one transaction online per event date. For more, please contact our box office.


Book Tickets Now