Please note we do not accept bookings from stag or hen parties on Friday and Saturday nights.

The Stand is a small intimate venue aimed at couples and small groups of friends who want to listen to comedy.

If you’re in the mood to party, there’s plenty better places to do it in Edinburgh or Glasgow. Newcastle is infamous for it's many stag and hen friendly pubs and clubs so please look elsewhere on Fridays and Saturdays. From our own experience – and we’ve all been on a hen or stag party ourselves – it’s a bit daft to bring a group of friends who want to chat, catch-up and get hammered to a place where they are expected to sit quietly and watch a show. Maybe a comedy club is not the best way to celebrate your impending nuptials, but if you really want to we suggest you try Highlight (formerly Jongleurs).

And of course we know that as individuals you are all lovely responsible people who wouldn’t dream of giving us grief, but we know too when you all get together it can be a nightmare for the rest of our customers. We’d love to welcome you here some other time when you’re not mashing your liver in celebration of your best mate getting hitched.

If you’re on a hen or stag weekend and looking for something more chilled to do on Sunday night we might be able to help. Or in Edinburgh try recovering at our free Sunday lunchtime improv show – with absolutely fabulous food and dogs with many hairs.

Please don’t try to get round this policy by booking separately – hen or stag parties will be refused admission and we’d all rather avoid this embarrassment on the door.

Some of our favourite excuses:

'We're a quiet stag/hen group' - no, you're not, they don't exist.
'We're an older stag/hen group' - unless you are all mute and teetotal, no.
'We promise to behave' - you're not special and we don't accept promise as a currency.
'You're just being racist' - being a drunken idiot is not a race/religion.
'We're going to sneak in' - no you're not, you're about as subtle as a Katy Perry video.
'We go to other comedy clubs all the time and know what to expect' - Most other comedy clubs are more interested in getting your money than they are about the performance. We’d love to see you when you're not getting smashed though.
'We’ve been to your club before and had a great night out, why not this time?' - Because you weren't part of a large group that time that was hell-bent on getting wrecked. Didn't you enjoy your last visit to our club without screaming and shouting from some drunk person with a mankini/flashing devil horns on?
'We are going to spend lots of money in your venue' - Lots of money? On booze? Hmmmmmm...
'I said we were a stag/hen party but it was a mistake, why don’t you just pretend you didn’t hear that' - You mistakenly labelled your group a stag/hen party? Are you the sort to mistakenly get drunk and smell a little bit like vomit by 11pm?

Ok, we’re not saying all stag and hen party’s are that bad – before we introduced this policy we did have on occasion some very lovely stag/hen party’s who were well behaved, enjoyed the show and treated other audience members and staff with courtesy and respect. This is unfortunately very much the minority. If you are one of these kind of groups then we’re very sorry we have to turn you away, but being the nice people you are you almost always understand.

Do come along on Sunday night though, we’ll nurse your hangover with laughter.